Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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