You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
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I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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