So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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