There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
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The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
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I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize