I wish I could teleport
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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