She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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