I'm so fucking centered right now
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize