Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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