You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize