whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize