Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize