I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize