I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
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Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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