and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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