I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm at about main and main street
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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