I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She announced her abortion via fbk
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize