Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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