I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize