i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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