i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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