oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize