erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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