just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if only i could text you this smell
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
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he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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