you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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