Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize