would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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