I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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