shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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