I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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