I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize