The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize