I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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