Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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