i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize