how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
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If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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