Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
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scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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