She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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