I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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