i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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