your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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