He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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