White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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