My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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