I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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