Define "chronic" masturbator.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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