when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize