yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
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Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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