we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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