Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize