You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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